The Unhindered Life (and a giveaway!)

 Last month, I discussed how childhood experiences impact adult lives. During those early years, the brain’s rapid development greatly influences how we think and feel about the world around us. But even though brain development slows over time, it never stops. Not at age 8, or 18…or even 58. Every life experience creates permanent change in the brain.

This is mildly bad news because it means that adult experiences can have negative effects on our mental health.

It’s also exceptionally good news. It means that, as adults, we can change how we think, act and relate in ways that improve our mental health–even for those with painful or traumatic childhoods.

This is one of the core messages described in the book Unhindered by Dr. Charity Byers and Dr. John Walker.¹ Childhood and adult experiences can create what they call “Sore Spots.” 

I recently had the opportunity to interview Dr. Byers, CEO and psychologist for Blessings Ranch–an intensive counseling retreat for Christian ministry leaders. Unhindered launched from their years of sitting with clients and discovering what it looks like for transformation to happen. Here's what she had to say:

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Melissa: “How do you see Sore Spots interfere in clients’ lives?”

Dr. Byers: “When pain goes unhealed, it’s going to influence us more than we realize. We can develop disproportionate emotional responses, which can look like numbing or overreacting. To identify where Sore Spots are interfering, we can pay attention to feelings and reactions that are too big or too small.” 

Melissa: “Issues with personal character is listed as one of the possible ‘Undesired Life Outcomes’ that appear from our Sore Spots. How do you see this appear in clients’ lives?”

Dr. Byers: “Character often goes unconsidered and forgotten. We justify, ‘this is just who I am.’ Yet, our character is often being hindered by pain we haven’t healed. For example, unhealed shame can hinder integrity by convincing us to hide or lie about things we are ashamed of. You’re not stuck there. Here’s the good news: Character can change. It’s not as static as it feels.” 

Melissa: “What do you hope readers will walk away with after reading your book?”

Dr. Byers: “Three things: 

1. Curiosity of self- Look below the surface and wonder why you do what you do. 

2. Insight- Find language to name what God is inviting you to heal or learn.

3. Hope- See a pathway forward from where you feel stuck.”²

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Take some time today to think of your sore spots and what causes you to go numb or overreact. Ask yourself the following questions:

• Where are my feelings too big or too small?

• What buttons feel easily pushed by others?

• When do my reactions not quite fit the situation?

  
  

Use these insights to dig under the surface and consider hurt areas of the heart that continue to influence your everyday living. 

Then, through the use of prayer, friendship, therapy, or a resource such as Unhindered, begin the healing process by working through those hurts. Instead of living from anger or anxiety, you can learn to live with freedom and peace. 

Unhindered provides a clearly defined path toward emotional and spiritual healing. Pick up a copy on Amazon–it may be just the tool you need to move from past hurts and toward an unhindered life. 

¹Charity Byers, Ph. D. and John Walker, Ph. D., Unhindered (Avail, 2020).

²Interview with Dr. Charity Byers, July 31, 2025

BOOK GIVEAWAY! 

As a gift to my subscribers, I’m giving away one free copy of Unhindered! If you would like to be entered into the drawing, simply subscribe before September 20th. Then, forward your welcome email to melissafishercounseling@gmail.com and let me know you'd like to be entered into the drawing for Unhindered.

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